Filling the gap between who you are and who you want to be

Recently I've been talking about the idea of AAA.

When I start a coaching relationship with someone, I spend a lot of time asking questions. 

Sometimes uncomfortable questions.

Like, "Hey, so what got in the way of you doing that?"

And the aswer is usually something like, "Well, I don't know. There's just a lot going on."

"Like what?" (I'm not judging what happened. I just need to know what caused it so we can solve for it.)

"Well, X and X and X." Or, "I just wasn't focused and it didn't happen."

Okay then! Again, no judgment. And I'll tell you why in a second. This is the AAA part...

(⬇️ Btw, watch instead of reading, or read on below.)

Awareness

In life, we tend to run on default. (For example, just think about how "automatic" you are when driving your usual route home.)

So when you're looking to make changes, the first step to stop running on default is to start asking questions.

Asking questions helps develop Awareness. (The first A in AAA.)

• To become aware that you have resistance or avoidance of something.
• To become aware that something's getting in your way.
• To become aware that you're letting something get in your way.

"The reason I didn't do the thing I put on my calendar is because I allowed something to interrupt that. Or I chose to do something else. Or something else looked like more fun so I did that instead."

I can be aware of that. 

I don't have to like it. I don't have to be proud. But I can be aware.

We avoid becoming aware because of the time and energy it demands, and the guilt and bad feelings it dredges up.

Or, our autopilot just makes us forget.

But it's the first step to making any change.

Without awareness, we lose the ability to become the best version of ourselves.

Acceptance

From Awareness we go to the second A, which is Acceptance.

Awareness is observing. Accepting comes from a place of not judging.

So all those ick feeling awareness drums up? They become "It is what it is."

It requires you to accept things as they are AND become conscious of how to improve and grow.

Acceptance looks like "Okay, it's true that X happens when shiny objects pop up."

"Instead of doing what was on my calendar, I chose to do something fun. I accept that's a draw for me, and it's probably going to happen again."

So then the question is, "Okay, so what are you going to do about that?"...

Action

And maybe I'm going to say: "Nothing." (Betcha didn't see that coming.)

Because maybe I'm choosing not to solve for that right now.

I'm aware of it. And I'm accepting it. But I'm choosing not to do anything about it.

Because the third A is Action. And YOU get to decide when to take action.

In fact, action is easier after we’ve sat with awareness and acceptance for a while. Because it creates the desire and know-how for understanding how to take aligned action.

So I just want you to know...you have choices. Don't let the weight of action stop you from developing awareness and acceptance.

You. get. to decide. when. to. take. action. 

This is how we start filling the gap between who we are now, and who we want to be.

So tell me, is it freeing knowing you can become aware of something—and even accept something—without having to take action on it?