The Kevin Dairaghi Show | Kevin Dairaghi + Dawn Baumgartner

KEY THEMES

• Being a whole person

• The Power of "Forging Moments"

• Taking Ownership of Your Journey 

• Knowing What You Want

• Embrace Faith and Community

• The Importance of Boundaries and Rest

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TRANSCRIPT

Kevin (00:00:01):

Hey friends, it's Kevin Dairaghi. Welcome to the Kevin Dairaghi Show. Today I have a special guest. She is a sweetheart. She is just a wonderful, wonderful person. You'll soon find this out, but it's Dawn Baumgartner. So she got started as a real estate agent, as a broker. She built up her business, decided to blend it with another company, and then ends up being this extraordinary coach because of all these life experiences that she's had. She's out there, she's crushing it. She's just an amazing person. The total idea of a servant leader just lives and acts with faith. Just wonderful, wonderful soul and wonderful person. Let's get into a conversation here with Dawn Baumgartner.

Kevin (00:00:48):

Welcome to the Kevin Dairaghi Show. If you're in or new to real estate, there are three foundational truths you need to know. One, the most important real estate is between your ears. Two, the personal drives a professional, and three, it's all about relationships. We're going to unpack these truths and show you how working on your real life behind the business can bring you success you want in the business and create the legacy you've only dreamt about. This is the Kevin Dairaghi Show, real life real estate. Oh my gosh. I am so happy to be here. Dawn Baumgartner, live in person in virtual. But Dawn, I am so happy that you're with us today. How are you?

Dawn (00:01:41):
Thanks, Kevin. I am great, and I am really excited to be here as well. Yeah, this is incredible. I love getting to be here and having this conversation with you today, so thanks for having me.

Kevin (00:01:54):
So Dawn, I know you're a super organized person. You wanted kind of all this stuff and it's like, oh my gosh. So we have a relationship, right? We've known each other for years. I will go ahead and just say how I met you. So I was working for a larger company. We were buying houses, all this stuff. I just transitioned from me doing 10 houses a month with all the people, all the things, all the stress, and realized that I like networking. I like teaching and training and kind of being a coach, that side of it. So one of the things I did was they put me inside offices. We just merged with, at that time it was Keller Williams. I think I got there first, and then you slid right in. I think that's kind of how it went. I was pretty new there too. But you joined and they were very, very excited to have you, right? Because you were a powerhouse in your own world. Were you a broker yourself?

Dawn (00:02:54):

Yes.

Kevin (00:02:56):
You were a large win for them when you scooted over because you had people and influence and all this stuff that when you came over, it was a big deal for them because you are a big deal. So now all that said, right, so you're this power agent doing all this stuff. Why did you get into real estate? Why were you connecting the dots in that world?

Dawn (00:03:19):

Yeah, great question. So I had come up as an educator. I was a teacher for 15 years. I was a special education teacher in a middle school classroom, and I got to hang out with all the really cool people in the world that were making things happen.

Kevin (00:04:07):

Yeah, yeah. It's a tough time where You're like, yeah, man. And not only that, you take the hard kids. Yes. Way to go. That sounds, I think there's going to be a lot of this theme coming up.

Dawn (00:04:19):

I think so Kevin, I think I always kind of chose that, right? But no, I loved my middle schoolers. That was a decision I made. Loved running with those kids. But came out of that and then to your point, really went into, we owned an appraisal company and our friends had a finance company and they were like, you know what, Dawn, you should own a real estate company. So I did. So I started at that time, you could become an agent and a broker at the same time. So I did because why not just go all the way and then open your own brokerage? So I had done that and had been running in that prior to the market crash and ran through that. And then really though, to your point, when we got to meet, I was closing my own brokerage and really looking for the opportunity to come underneath somebody else's umbrella and stop trying to run all of that.

Dawn (00:05:06):

Because to your point, it is being the broker is oftentimes one of the more difficult places to be because you're constantly pouring into other people that usually are really excited to be hearing from you and learning all the things. And then they piece out, they leave, they move on. Because a lot of times in real estate, people are moving a lot and not just their clients are moving, but agents are moving around frequently just trying to find the next thing or they felt like they were maybe dissatisfied with something. And then what they found was that they took some of that dissatisfaction with them because they still went. As we move, we take ourselves with us. And then we realized when at some point. But yeah, so I was headed over there because I was looking to climb underneath an umbrella that had a good scope that I could get under and run my business without having to run all the parts of it anymore.

Kevin (00:05:51):

Yeah, we talk about being a solopreneur and did you wear all the hats and having a broker, you just took another layer of, what is that, a feather in the cap or something like that? You took even more.

Dawn (00:06:07):

Yeah.

Kevin (00:06:08):
It a relief for you when you joined there?

Dawn (00:06:11):

Yeah, it really was. It was nice to get over there and to feel like I didn't have to be responsible for all the parts and I wasn't ultimately where the rubber meets the road. And as a broker, a lot of times you spend time solving other people's problems and you really don't always get to do as much of the business that you once enjoyed. And so that was one of the things that I found. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoyed being on the side where I got to make the decisions and create the systems and the processes, and ultimately that's where I ended up back on that side of it and allowing myself to step out of the front lines. And I really got to enjoy doing that and still really running with your team as well during some of that.

Kevin (00:06:47):
So are you a little bit of a control freak?

Dawn (00:06:50):

I'm thinking that a little bit could be an understatement.

Kevin (00:06:56):

When you're like, what's the itinerary? I'm like, we just talk. You're like, no, I was like, crap. And then just hearing you talk about that, it's like, boy, okay, I didn't know all that. So normally the control people aren't happily happy and bubbly like you are.

Dawn (00:07:12):

Yeah. Isn't that great? See, I'm a good blend.

Kevin (00:07:15):

Let's get to your rise here, right? So I left you right now, you just merged and now you are a part of a team in the real estate space. I know you didn't stay there.

Dawn (00:07:25):

That's very true.

Kevin (00:07:27):

So where did you go from there?

Dawn (00:07:29):

Yeah, great question. So actually right where I was planted, I decided to replace myself in real estate because I'd been doing that long enough and was ready to move on. And I would say that's a big part of my journey that I've noticed over time. And I actually challenged myself for a number of years and thought, do you really know what you want to do? And really kind of almost had a lot of convicting conversations with myself about why I was not, why are you changing careers? Why are you switching gears? What does that look like? And in the last, I would say probably six years, the Lord's really just impressed upon me that all of those different things that I was doing were actually was actually just the threads that were being woven together to take me where he wanted me to be. And I have loved that now coming out of education and then into real estate.

Dawn (00:08:16):

And so really I stayed in real estate, but I ended up on the operations side and I started creating some of those very systems and processes that I talked about people needing. So I started creating those for other teams and organizations and things like that. And so in doing that, it fulfilled what I wanted to be doing, but it also helped other organizations and other people be able to grow and scale their businesses, which I absolutely loved. And then I realized that I didn't just have to do that for one team or one person. I could do that for more people. And so then I was still doing that in similar space or maybe shoulder industries, but I wasn't necessarily just in that real estate sphere at that point. And that's what allowed me to move into some other things.

Kevin (00:09:01):

And through that evolution, you are now, I don't like putting words in your mouth, but I can, you're a stud coach now. So you go in and you're able to help C-level people, small business owners, and help them remove their hurdles. What I read your LinkedIn, but I was like, oh my gosh, so much of this blends in the personal and the professional. I saw the life coach, but I was actually talking with another guest, Josh, and he was telling me about his coaching.

Kevin (00:09:33):

So I do a lot of personal stuff in our life coaching where you forgive and face your fears and build your roadmap, all that stuff. And his is more, his people are like, he's like, man, I want to fix and block. What do you need? Do you need more money, more? I want to fix these problems. Probably similar to you, but he is like, man, all these people just keep complaining about their life. And I'm like, that's what I do. But the other side is there's business stuff and there's personal stuff. You got to be able to read the situation and know what's really behind it. What have you learned in your coaching with both sides of that? The personal and the professional?

Dawn (00:10:12):

And it's a great concept because it is exactly why really when I stepped in my agreement with people that I run with really is this idea that I don't just coach to one or the other. It's both. So if you want me in your world, I'm going to be all up in your world. I'm going to be all over the place. And so when I connect with people, they usually show up in my world for one reason and they stay for something completely different. And really what that looks like is that they might be showing up because they feel like they're dissatisfied at work or they're dissatisfied in their career, or maybe they're dissatisfied at home or there's something that they're unhappy with. And so I really help people create systems and processes. I help them scale to get to the next level, and I help them solve problems and really get unstuck.

Dawn (00:10:53):

And so that can be in a variety of areas, but when you come and we start running together, it really is through the lens of, Hey, we're going to solve some professional things, but we're also going to be looking at the personal side. And if we thought we were solving personal things, we're also going to talk about the professional side because you are one whole person and it really doesn't make a lot of sense to try and just work on one side and fix half of the car and let the other half of the car still kind of be bumping along. And the truth is, winning at work and losing at home isn't really winning. It's not really winning if you're winning at home and losing at work either. So it's a lie that's not going to serve you very long. And so I really love being able to pour into both sides and earning the ability to speak into both sides because they are really, really connected in so many ways.

Kevin (00:11:37):

A thousand percent, yes. This is where it's really nice to have this agreement. So if you go to I think kevin dgi.com/tools, we have a snapshot exercise. So three main relationships, relationship with self, relationship with others, relationship with things. Each of those are split into four things. But it's one of those, you get this wheel right, this bubble, and if any one category goes down, it doesn't matter how good some other things are. Like you have a flat tire, you're not going anywhere if you don't have one of these categories, if it's neglected or neglected too long, it's gone. If you don't have a different component to it, do you have a tool like that?

Dawn (00:12:21):

So I have several different resources and I would say that, yeah, so I would say

Kevin (00:12:26):

Very well organized, I'm sure.

Dawn (00:12:29):

Thank you. Thank you. I believe so we have them categorized by life and business and real estate and all the things because I need that, Kevin. So I would say right now one of the instruments that I'm using is it's a life of value tool that another coach has been putting out. And I've been blessed to get to pilot some of that, and I've been enjoying some of that, but I really enjoy and appreciate the conversation. So one of the things that I get to do with people initially when they reach out through the website is that I'll set up some time and I'll hop on a 45 minute call with somebody and really just unpack where they're at. And so I have a series of questions, but I would say it's a little bit more like, I would say it feels a little bit maybe more organic, but it's very high in relationship.

Dawn (00:13:11):

And one of the reasons I do that is because I think that for me, I want to make sure that it's the right fit, not just that you're like, yes, I want more of that, but that I'm like, okay, I want to support you. You are ready. And I want to go. Because I would say something that's a little bit different, maybe back to the control freak part, is that I want to make some stuff happen. So you can't pay me enough money to hang out with you if we're not going to move the needle. If you're not really ready, I'm probably not your girl, and I will help you find the person that might be ready to help you with that, but it won't be me because I want to see you freed up and moving the needle on that stuff. So I do not have a really cool tool like that though, Kevin, and I think that it could probably be really, really helpful. So Well,

Kevin (00:13:57):

So let me just underline what you just said there, Dawn. And this is maybe a year ago when we were kicking out, or now a couple years, when we were doing cash flow nation, Dave was like, I had my talk with Dawn. Dawn said, I need to do blank, blank, blank, and I can't call her back until I get it done. And it was one of those, he was like, crap, I can't call her back. I got to get, it was so serious. You said it to him and he is like, okay, I got to go do these things.

Kevin (00:14:26):

It was one of those, Kevin, if you call, you got to do it otherwise you, and I'm like, damn. So that's where my, I don't follow. All the rules kind of comes in.

Dawn (00:14:37):

It's good. It's good. I love it. See, we have to have balance. Everybody has to have something. And here's what I love about David again. He got it. He didn't just show up one time. He showed up in that space and he was like, this is what I need. And I was like, great, this is what we're going to do. And we built a plan and then he came back and he was like, okay, I did those first things and I brought people this time, I need you to tell my people because other people are going to help me do this. And so he got it and he brought the people, and then I told three people what to do, and then they did it. And the next time I heard from David, he had a book in his hand and he's like, Hey, I wrote my book. And I'm like, yes, dude. And I went online and ordered a whole bunch and gave 'em to people. What happens, and I love it. So yeah, that's great. Definitely.

Kevin (00:15:19):

It's great to have success stories like that. As a fellow coach, I almost get more excited when they have breakthroughs than it's like, Yes, they got it. Yes. Gosh. What is a cool breakthrough moment that you've seen from the other side? From the coaching side?

Dawn (00:15:39):

Yeah, I think some really cool ones that I've seen just on the personal side, people that came to me maybe from the business side and we're like, listen, this is where my business is. Things are going well, but I think my marriage is on the way out the door. I really just an FYI. And so when they come to me, my commitment is I'm going to work with you for 12 weeks, we're going to work together for three months, and at the end of three months, we'll evaluate. We're part way through. And again, the organization thing. So in week 10, we're going to make a decision.

Dawn (00:16:09):

It's all lined up. Kevin, I know you're not shocked, but again, this particular individual just doing incredible things with business, and yet I think that probably the relationship is over. And so again, in my very organic and special ways, it was really like, okay, so great. So are we ending that relationship this quarter or do you think that's a different quarter this year? Right? I mean, again, I think sometimes the shock value, but it's not right or wrong. I'm not judging it. We may very well be doing that. Is that happening this quarter? If we're doing that this quarter, we actually can't do some other things because you can't do it. All right? And so what was really cool, and again, you asked about the breakthrough. What was really cool is they were like, well, no, not this quarter. I'm like, okay, great. So we put that on the table to deal with later. And do you know that after one quarter of working together, getting where that individual wanted to be professionally, that the relationship turned to the corner and none of that, there were things that needed to be addressed,

Dawn (00:17:05):

But the truth was is that so often we are dissatisfied in one area of our life and it is bleeding all over these other areas, and those other areas aren't the problem at all, right? That is not the issue. And yet we've assigned it the issue because we have confidence where we are in other places or whatever that looks like. And so I think the safety piece there, when I see some of that, the safety piece to give people the place to go, Hey, we can talk about all of it, and there's no judgment around it, we just need to actually treat it though a thing. Are we dealing with that now? Or is that going to be something we deal with later? And I think just giving people that place to have the freedom, it's exciting to watch them walk out the other side different than what they thought it would look like. So that's just one.

Kevin (00:17:50):

Yeah, that sounds a lot like symptoms and causes. So I was battling with gout always something I'm happy to talk about. And it's like, man, what is going on? And it's like, well, you eat like crap and you drink a bunch of beer, maybe you should stop the french fries, Kevin, maybe you should slow down on beer. But it is unfortunate because I'm a really good beer drinker, Don, but it's one of those like, Hey, I need to show up to my people. I can't be hobbling on stage anymore. You got to, if you're going to be this guy, you got to be this guy. And it means you might have to leave some of that old self behind, speaking of which, you look fantastic.

Dawn (00:18:31):

Thanks.

Kevin (00:18:33):

And I've been telling you this for a long time. You have done remarkable. When I first met you, you were very cheery, but you carried a little bit more baggage with you.

Dawn (00:18:46):

Very true. Very true. Yeah. Both physically and in my mind, Kevin. Yeah.

Kevin (00:18:50):

So what happened? What changed in your mind? What changed in your body?

Dawn (00:18:54):

Yeah, great. Thank you. So years back, shortly after we met each other, I really kind of hit this wall of I am killing it. I am doing all the things in the business side that I want to do, and I'm hitting them the mark. I am meeting the people. People are excited when I walk in the room. They're excited when I show up to do things for them. Not everybody, of course, some people are like, oh God, he or she is again, but whatever's, I'm happy. Yeah, thanks. But I found that I was living very, very out of balance. And actually growing up, my dad left when I was young, and then my mom really struggled to try and figure out how to do all the things. And so I kind of had this abandoned idea in my head like, oh, people just leave.

Dawn (00:19:41):

And interestingly enough, by acknowledging and allowing that to be part of the root structure of my belief system and that it developed into branches, which meant that I kind of abandoned myself and abandoned the care of myself, it didn't matter what I wanted because somebody else wanted this and I could make this happen for them. And if I did, they were excited and then they were happy. And if they were happy, then that made me happy. And yet then there were unhappy people though in my personal life because they were like, we never see you and we're not even sure we recognize you. And so it was really interesting as I started to create some space and read some great books and started to create some more pause for myself and lean more into what God had for me, I realized that I had not only always focused on this route of, Hey, people leave, and I decided, no, I actually abandoned me.

Dawn (00:20:31):

And so prior to taking back over control of my physical health in 2022, back in 2020, I actually made some very different decisions professionally, which allowed me to then create the coaching organization that I have now. But in 2022, I decided that I was done not caring for myself health wise, and I went on a health journey and I released 90 pounds between March of 2022 and in September of 2023. And so it was awesome. I was so excited. I loved getting to do that, but it was a series of strategic decisions and it was a big deal, and it wasn't just a big deal for me. It was a big deal for everybody in my life. We had some family meetings at my house that kind of sounded like, look, y'all are cute and I like you, and I just broke up with the kitchen.

Dawn (00:21:23):

So don't bring anything in this house that doesn't look like it gets these criteria, and I'm no longer cooking for all of us unless you want to eat what I'm eating. But again, they were old enough, Kevin. I didn't abandon anybody. They were fine. But again, I just had to make some different decisions. And then I also made some really different decisions about how I spent my time and the amount of stress that I permitted in my life and what my surroundings looked like and how I showed up in certain environments. And so by making some of those decisions for me, it actually created a place for me to grow professionally as well. Even though I'd always been striving to do that, I didn't have to strive for that anymore because I had created enough space to just become the version of myself that I was supposed to be. So yeah,

Kevin (00:22:05):

Love it. I like your verbiage. I've released 90 pounds. Because everybody says, I lost. And it's like, no, no, I don't need this anymore. I will give this back. You could have it. Good word,

Dawn (00:22:18):

Yes. If we lose something, Kevin, what do we do? We look for it, right? If you lose your keys, you're like, where are my keys? Everybody needs to be finding in my keys. I am not trying to find that it is not lost. Go,

Kevin (00:22:32):

Hey, go. I'll tell you, it is, I think recognizing your relationship. So we're talking relationship with self, right?

Dawn (00:22:39):

Yes.

Kevin (00:22:39):

And then it's relationship with your body, your health and fitness. It's a big deal.

Dawn (00:22:44):

It is.

Kevin (00:22:45):

The food that you eat, the journeys that you go. I started taking supplements. It's not like I'm like, woo-hoo, look what? But it's one of those like, Hey, man, if you're going to be talking to a players like Dawn, you got to be different. You got to step up. And sometimes it's the healthy habits like, Hey, what are you reading? What are you exercising? Are you fit? It's not like you could work out one day of the month and be like, that's all I needed. That's right. You got to show up every day and do those things. Are you a big routine person?

Dawn (00:23:18):

Yes. Yes. Huge into routines and habits. I know.

Kevin (00:23:23):

Shocked,

Dawn (00:23:24):

Probably not too surprising. Yes, just habit stacking and being able to walk through my day and know what to expect. Having meal plans done in advance and things like that. Meal prep. I do not enjoy that part. If I get to the end of my day and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be eating, the risk is very high that I'm just going to grab something or I'm going to skip it altogether. And that was one of the things that I found is that, again, I think that oftentimes we look at our bodies and we think, why am I not healthy? I hardly ever eat. Well, that's another issue. And so just creating some of those habits and giving space for that. Again, I mean, having those planning blocks in my weekend when I'm fresh Saturday mornings, I don't have a lot of mornings during the week that I don't have quite a few things going on intentionally. So I've built my world around that. They start when I want them to start, and they end when I want them to end. However, honoring that time on the weekend to plan and to go, okay, what do I want meals to look like next week? What do I want life to look like next week? What kinds of plans do I need to make? So I do. I love it.

Kevin (00:24:26):

I remember I had a student and he's like, Kevin, recognize when I reach out to you on the weekend, you don't answer. It's like, yeah,

Kevin (00:24:35):
I actually appreciate that it's one of those, unless there's something actively bleeding or Hey, I need my time to charge,

Dawn (00:24:45):

Right?

Kevin (00:24:46):

Sundays are like, Hey, you go to church, you take a nap. Cool. Do whatever you need to. So you're ready on Monday.

Dawn (00:24:54):

That's right.

Kevin (00:24:54):

And I love my Mondays.

Dawn (00:24:56):

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. It's interesting that you say that, Kevin, because recently had, I would say within the last year, and really in general, when people join my team, I think they believe, holy crap, Dawn's got all this stuff going on. And she's like, Hey, when you've done that, call me. And so I think that they think, oh my gosh, I have to show up and do all the things that it has to be perfect. And I'm like, that's just not who I am. And so I had an operations manager start with me not long ago, and I would notice my rule of thumb is you communicate when you need to communicate what you need to communicate, and I will get back to you when I am going to be able to give it the full attention that it deserves. And so all my clients have that access as well.

Dawn (00:25:38):

If you're a coaching client in my world, you have the ability to communicate to me anytime you want, and it's my responsibility to respond to you when I'm going to be in the best head space to do that. And so I have channels for that. So I use that with my team as well, and I'm super clear about that. But it's hard for people because they think, well, you're just on it all the time. No, I'm not just on it all the time. I'm on it when I'm on it so that I can be off. And so I noticed that she was listening in the evenings if I was leaving stuff. And I'm like, dude, what are you doing? So I mentioned, I'm like, whatcha are you doing? And so I mentioned it one time, and then there was a whole weekend where she didn't do it at all, and it was the first thing that I said on our Monday call.

Dawn (00:26:15):

I said, Hey, can I tell you something? And I don't know if she was panicky because she thought I didn't listen all weekend. And I said to her, I said, I want to tell you that the most amazing thing has happened since you started is that you did not listen to any of those messages all weekend long. And fact, they're still not played because I'm her first call on Monday morning. And I said, thank you. Thank you for doing that, because that means you understand what we do and why we do it. Because if we don't stay healthy and we don't stay in a position where we can do that, we can't serve anybody else, and we need to be the best example of what we're coaching other people to do. 

Kevin (00:26:51):

I agree. When I'm doing all the things, if I'm doing it for myself, I actually don't show up as much. I don't know if you could relate to this, but if I have people watching me, then it's like, man, I told him I was just telling this person he needs to do this, so I'm going to go walk two miles. If I told him it's one of those, I get it. I can't give advice that I can't do myself.

Dawn (00:27:16):

Yes.

Kevin (00:27:16):

Do you come across this?

Dawn (00:27:17):

I do. I do. I think, and I just think it's one of the most valuable things about people that are in our industry, that they understand it and that they believe it and that we do it. We have to lead by example. If I can't go first or if I'm not willing to go first, it puts us in a position to just be do as I say, not as I do. And I think it's beautiful. And I love that you do that too,

Kevin (00:27:39):

And that's why you're a leader. Thanks. Did you listen to the Eads Bridge one?

Dawn (00:27:48):

No,

Kevin (00:27:50):

Dawn, sorry, that's one of my big ones this year. Well, you did some others, so we're good.

Dawn (00:27:55):

Oh yeah, sure.

Kevin (00:27:57):

We're fans of each other, so we watch our stuff.

Dawn (00:27:59):

Absolutely. I'm sorry, I missed that one though. Now that I know it will be on the list.

 

Kevin (00:28:42):

So Eads Bridge, right? So this is the bridge right here in St. Louis, connecting east to west. All of these wonderful things came out of it. I did a talk at a convention, a conference, and based on each bridge, three main points, so dream, forge, finish, it was a dream manifest, destiny, connect East, west, all this stuff. It was actually not fulfilled by politician, but by capitalism entrepreneurs. So dream forge, meaning at that time, the common materials used for building bridges was stone, wood, and iron. All of those would not work for the Mississippi River. It was over a mile long. It was so tall, the fast currents, the dynamic loads of a train and all this other stuff, and just iron couldn't do it. So the forging moment is they turned iron into steel and steel. It needs to get hot, you need to have pressure, need to take out impurities, you put in additives, you see any live correlations coming here. And really it was the forging of steel from iron that really made this happen. And then it's just a fascinating story because soon after the guy who did this, which turns out it's Andrew Carnegie, if you don't know this, he did all the railroads in this, in the steel, and then he took this concept of steel, structural steel and basically build all of our cities, all the structural steels. Now we have skyscrapers and all this stuff, all because of that hard point that he solved, creating Eads Bridge right here in St. Louis. So love it. And then finish, meaning if you don't finish a damn bridge, you're not getting across the river.

Kevin (00:30:27):

But our question here is what is a dawn forging moment? When was Dawn going through a moment of possible breaking or whatever it is where you had to dig down and go, wait a minute, I want something else. This isn't who I am. That made you become this stellar coach and leader.

Dawn (00:30:50):

Yeah, love it. I love this question. So good. But I can't believe I haven't listened to that one. I scout your stuff, so this is good. Thanks, Kevin. So I think I would have to say, and I have permission to share from our daughter, but when our daughter was in seventh grade, she had a mental health crisis and she was out of school for an entire year. And I shared with you previously that I loved my business. I loved running business, I loved my career maybe a little too much at times. And so when our daughter had this mental health crisis, I was the person who completely withdrew from everything to care for her. And it happened overnight. It happened on October 30th, and that was it. It was over. I literally that day had to stop everything, come home care for her around the clock for almost a year.

Dawn (00:31:35):

And I was not able to do anything in my business. And I think in that time, through the Lord breaking me down to build me back up into the things that he needed from me, that is where I shifted and I pivoted away from just make it happen. It doesn't matter how we can do it. It's okay if you're bleeding, put a bandaid on it and let's keep going type thing. And I pivoted away from that time to, Hey, how are you? No. How are you really doing? No, stop listening to my boxes on the weekends and be off. That is when so many of those things were harnessed.

But through that time, I really learned to see what the way that I was driven and the way that our beautiful little girl was built, I was able to see those things being mashed together and coming out the other side, being able to feel what people were feeling and be able to care about that and figure out how to solve problems to put them in the best position without violating everything else in their world. And so it was a stop for me, a full stop, not, I didn't get the signal before because I'm quite confident as I look back and I can see it now, where I was like, Hey there. Yeah. And then I just kept going and Oh, look, then there was a trail of bloodied bodies behind me as I kept going, but I clearly

Kevin (00:32:51):

Did not see the stop signs. Yeah.

Dawn (00:32:53):

Yeah. It was great. Everybody was excited. And so maybe not everybody, but it seemed like it. But through that I learned so much. I learned so much about how little I really needed to be doing some of those things, but also how important it was for me to be present in those most important relationships. And I learned that I'm really not that good at being in control and not so great at it. And I wasn't killing it. I thought I was. And it was incredible because it really sat me all the way down. And I was oftentimes just prone on the floor. I don't really know what else to do except to cry out and call out to God and watch him work through that to rebuild. And one of the most beautiful things that came from it is that she's now almost 21. And I look and I think, holy Hannah, you trusted me with that and look at her.

Dawn (00:33:42):

And she's confident and she's comfortable in who she is, and she's leading and she's growing. And I think about, and I share with her often while I am sad that she lost that year in seventh grade, I love that In that year, she was so formed and there were so many incredible things that happened for her that she is now comfortably and confidently walking out some of her best years earlier than most of us. And she can kind of step into some of that. But when I looked back at what it did for me, it caused me just to shift my focus into the right areas of my life and not miss that I could have both. I can do this and this. And I really believe it is one of the things that allowed me to be able to see people in different places.

Dawn (00:34:29):

And I think truly, I probably could have been a business coach, but I could not have been a business and a life coach. I could not. And I don't know that I would've ever gotten healthy either myself. I think that it was in the absence of health that I was able to drive and run like I did, and discovering health and being able to help people on both sides and truly see them, see things that maybe they weren't willing to say yet, and being able to step into that with them, not for them, because we have to do it together. But when I can do that now, I know that it is because of that forge moment, like you say, where I was like, maybe it doesn't really matter. It maybe it's okay. And I remember in those moments, Kevin, I remember being angry that I was the one that had to give it all up.

Dawn (00:35:16):

I'm not saying I went through that moment. It wasn't as beautiful as it sounds now. It was a pretty terrifying and ugly, awful time, and yet so grateful for it now only every day. And it has given me a reservoir of experiences to pull from, and it allows me as well. And I think that's one of the beautiful things that God does as we walk through those times. It allows me to meet people in places that I would've never been able to. I could not have met them there before because it wasn't something that I'd walked through. And it is one of the reasons that I'm so grateful for the experiences that I have here, even the really, really hard ones, and sometimes truly the really, really hard ones, because those are the ones that allow me to make the biggest impact to help people get into freedom for themselves.

Kevin (00:36:00):

Dawn, that's great. I liken that story to walking through the valley of darkness, right? And it's one of those, I do the coaches' journey a lot through there because we've gone through horrible things where you're like, why are you doing this to me? Why can't you make it easy? I'm on team, God, I'm on your side. Why are you doing this? And you really question a lot of stuff. You're riding your shaft, but it's just one of those, why are you taking all this from me? Why are you hurting my loved ones? Why are you taking my, why are you taking my business? You have these real conversations and then you get out of it and you're like, oh my gosh, I have been incredibly blessed. And then you're like, oh my gosh. It was those hard times that really develop you. So your daughter, it's like the shells of a seed that have to come off for the tree. It's like there's much, much more going on. That's why I love, I don't love the low days, but those are far more fascinating than the good ones in my world. Character.

Kevin (00:37:16):

Hey, are we just going to patch this and move on, or are we actually going to fix this? All the timbers are gone. It's rotted out, but we could put a pretty coat of paint on it. You're lying. It's going to fall down. It's a house built on cards, but I didn't know it was at that time. What's funny is when I met you, you were a good mom, right? Oh, she's doing all this stuff with her daughter. I was like, oh man, she's fantastic. She's got it figured out. I remember it was actually probably after that that I found my coach, right? And his recipe for success. And that's where I was like, gosh, almost what you just said there. God, we have so many parallels here. But mine was, man, I'd be an amazing investor, but I got these damn kids and this wife. I could be doing so much more if I did have this baggage,

Dawn (00:38:10):

Right?

Kevin (00:38:12):

Yeah. I could do another house, I could do another, but oh, I got to go do these kid things. And it was just like, and you don't think you're showing up like that, but I was. And I was like, got to read the damn book. Let's go. Let's go. I got to work to, and it's like, what are you doing, Kevin? And I started looking at my friends, and I'm like, those are good dads. Why I wish I was one of those too late. I'll just have to wait. And I'm like, wait, there is time.

Dawn (00:38:42):

That's right.

Kevin (00:38:43):

And now we were just driving today, and it was one of those, we just worked on a house today, and it was like, all right, boys, this X, Y, Z happened. Did you notice we set it up like this? We handled this project. It's just one of those, Hey, I'm not talking to you as finger wagon, but it was just one of those, here you go. And it's just like, gosh, how cool to actually have a relationship with your kid, not just a top down authoritative relationship.

Dawn (00:39:13):

Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. It is. It's so cool. And I love seeing that come back to us from our kids. One of the things Kiersten does every day now, almost every day in the morning, and even tonight, she was like, Hey, when did some of this stuff get added to your calendar today? She has access to my calendar. And I was like, well, you know how it works. And so we were talking to, I was talking to Bridget, so I was like, yeah, we'll unpack that later.

But it was awesome because just this evening when she was like, okay, great, well, I'm going to get some dinner ready or whatever. But she said, she goes, can I pray for you before you hop on the podcast? And again, that is the fruit of that season, and I did not deserve, I don't deserve that. And the investment that I was able to make at that time is what created that in her. And it was the investment that she made, but it came through struggle. Like you said, it came through those fire moments, and I am grateful for 'em, even now as I experience and I'm finding I can get more grateful for them faster, now I can be in it and be like, oh, hang on, this is going to be really cool in six months.

Kevin (00:40:21):

Yeah, right now this sucks, but soon it's coming. Gosh. Yeah. It does give you different appreciation for it.

Dawn (00:40:32):

Yes.

Kevin (00:40:33):

Because if you don't have those little squeeze moments and whatever facet of it is you can't pop out. That's right. I like the idea of living glory to glory, but realize there's little humps between those glories. Yes. So in just what you're saying and all this stuff, it sounds like you really are a woman that lives by faith. Yeah. How did that happen? Was that just natural? Tell me about this.

Dawn (00:41:03):

Yeah, so I was born into a home where church was a thing that happened, that we went to church on the weekends and really served in church through the week and things like that. But again, I think it goes back to really those forged moments in life. I think I shared earlier that my dad stepped out of our lives when I was 12, and we moved back where my grandparents lived. And I remember at that time really feeling this like, okay, I don't really know what I'm supposed to do with all this. And I went through a lot. At that time, I was actually hospitalized for a period of time, failing to thrive, just trying to figure out how to manage all the emotions of that. And I remember being 16 and running away from home, and I ran away from home to the church.

Dawn (00:41:44):

I don't think where normal people went, but that's where I went. And I remember hiding underneath the pews and they were looking for me. I just remember not coming out, but I just remember there being that depth of faith. And I think it was really a blind faith that was there, but it came through those moments when I was squeezed and when there was pressure. And one of the things I think about is that in life we can have stress or we can have pressure. And pressure, I really feel like is that moment when we know that something's being defined and sculpted from it, and that stress is something that we maybe permit and it has more of a toxic reaction to our bodies. I frequently, when I find myself in a situation where I'm like, okay, I'm feeling kind of stressed. I'm like, well, what do I need to change then?

Dawn (00:42:26):

Because this can be pressure. I get to choose. But I think in life, it was just through those moments where there was a lot of pressure and there was plenty of pressure in my life. And looking back, I'm grateful for it, but that walk with the Lord, it just got stronger and stronger each time. And I had plenty of opportunities to walk through that and still really do. And I just think, okay, Lord, we're going to a new level. And I'm grateful for it, but it's definitely always been there. But I've had people that have poured into it over the years, and I celebrate those relationships, and I'm grateful for the people that have helped that, whether they've been part of the stress or the pressure or they've just been part of the pouring in, and they've just helped build my knowledge of him or just help strengthen the relationship.

Kevin (00:43:09):

My ham said that there's two types of people, people who get ulcers and people who give ulcers. So I was like, Hmm, interesting.

Kevin (00:43:18):

It's interesting. She's like, I got one your dad gives 'em. I was like, that's a nice way of categorizing that. But in this faith walk, it's a real thing. And not everybody gets it. Some people think it's really just a checkbox activity. Go to church, check, just sit there. And that's where it's like I get the religion, I get the traditions, I get it. What I want people to get is the relationship. If you're really serious about this, just cry out, ask. I would like to say life gets easier. It doesn't because you got to clean up a bunch of junk that you're, it's just like eating bad food. Guess what? There's going to be a little change before you get into the good stuff.

Dawn (00:44:05):

That's right.

Kevin (00:44:06):

But I'll tell you what, you meet some amazing people. You hear some crazy stories. Miracles are real. There's just stuff out there. There's so much more power. And I really hope people do see that because it really, I think you're missing out if you don't have that relationship.

Dawn (00:44:23):

Yeah, I agree. And I think even more than missing out, even beyond that piece of it, I cannot imagine surviving some of the things that we go through in this world without knowing that somebody's got me and somebody's people, all of it. There are so many things. I mean, even just this last week, one of the ladies that spent a lot of time pouring into my life, she was 89 years old, and she died in a tragic accident on Memorial Day. It was a one car accident that maybe she'd had a stroke or something prior to that, but we still lost this beautiful soul. And I remember thinking, I'm not sure. I feel like I'm okay with that. And I just had to remind myself that sweet Shirley is in heaven and healed in whole. And she, I am grateful for the time I had with her, but I get to be comforted by the idea that I don't have to think that I'll never see her again.

Dawn (00:45:12):

And I know that she's okay. And so I was able to celebrate her life and still be sad, but I just can't imagine getting through that and all the things I can't imagine getting through what our daughter went through without having faith. Because walking through that, I will never forget Kevin, at one point, she had to be hospitalized. And as a parent, leaving your child in that setting is unbelievably hard because you think that if I just keep doing it better, if I do it right, it's going to work this time, it's going to be okay. And then there comes a time where you're like, no, it's not. And the truth is, at that time, and probably even still, but it is getting better. It was really difficult to get mental health support and to get into psychologists and psychiatrists and different things. And so again, I just think as the rise of people meeting those things is happening so fast, the resources just hadn't caught up.

Dawn (00:46:03):

And so the only way for her to get the support that she needed, we had waited like seven months to get in with a specialist. The only way for her to get that was to be hospitalized at that point. And we had just come to that place. And so she wasn't even there, I don't think, for longer than 48 hours. But I remember walking out of that setting, and as we were walking out, she was screaming, do not leave me. And the police were running in behind us because she was upset or the security officers.

I just remember thinking, I don't know how to breathe right now. I did not. If I could not have come home to knowing that my heavenly father was going to be there with me through all of that, I'm just not sure what that would've looked like. I just can't imagine doing that on my own, and I didn't have to. And so to your point, my prayer is often and always that people will, I don't hope they experience something horrible, but I do hope that they think maybe I should check that out, and I would be more than happy. It would be my pleasure to spend time talking with somebody about that, whether it's for good reasons or for the squeeze reasons, because it's an incredible opportunity and he has it for all of us.

Kevin (00:47:11):

My story I talk about on some other episodes and whatnot, but I mean, I got brainwashed and baptized into a cult. Those are not cool things. And I'm like, boys, I hope you get this a lot easier than I do. I hope you just have the relationship. Please take my word for it. Just work. Don't go through all this other crap. It really sucks.

Kevin (00:47:36):

And it's just one of those, there's so much guilt and so much shame when you find it for so long. But it's one of those things, once you get it, you're like, yeah, I get it.

Dawn (00:47:47):

Exactly.

Kevin (00:47:47):

But how do you explain it before that I wasn't listening until I saw crazy things like miracles and acts of, it's like, okay, I get it now. This stuff's real. I get it. Sorry, sorry, sorry. But it's hard to tell people that because then they're like, nah, you probably just said this. Or you probably was it one of these manipulate. And it's like, oh my gosh, you don't even know yet.

Dawn (00:48:15):

Right.

Kevin (00:48:17):

So let me ask you this. In this process, right? You've gone through a lot of cool iterations, right? It's cool looking at it now and actually just looking at our stories. I mean, we had our own thing and then we played under somebody else's umbrella, and then we have our own thing.

Dawn (00:48:36):

Exactly.

Kevin (00:48:37):

So I think it is kind of evolution to kind of who we are. It's like we thought we had it and then we're like, oh, it'll be easier if I just partner. If I just team up and you think it's all great stuff. And then you're like, no, I think I kind of want to own or control my own life, steer my own ship. And now here you are back on top. Now in that process, so who you are now healthy and mentally fit and relationships with all these things, what would you go back and tell your younger self or somebody? Those people, you see 'em, you're like, shit, that's a younger version of me, right?

Dawn (00:49:19):

Yes.

Kevin (00:49:19):

What advice would you give that person to maybe save them a few headaches?

Dawn (00:49:26):

Yeah, great question. It's interesting. I'm not sure how much advice younger me would have been willing to receive. So I think one of the things that I would do and really hope is that I could link arms with them. One of the things I talk a lot about is doing life together. Do life with other people. Do life with people who are running in the same race as you. Like let's just run together. Let's just jockey and let go.

But do life with people who are ahead of you. Find the people that you're like, Hey, I think you're where I want to be, or at least you're doing something that I believe in and it's in alignment with me. And then don't forget to turn around and dip your hand back and pull somebody up that's trying to come up behind you. And so think, I would say that to the younger version of myself. Like, Hey, make sure you've got people in all the camps. Don't ever believe the lie that you're, just look at you killing it. Just stay in circles and stay in rooms where you're killing it. Go into some of those places that make you feel uncomfortable on a podcast

Kevin (00:50:27):

Without an itinerary,

Dawn (00:50:28):

Without, yes. So I think stepping into some of those things, I would say that, and I think the other thing that I would say, and it is something that I say to people who are wildly driven and doing some really incredible things, especially as they come up fast, is, man, create some grace and space for yourself because nobody else is going to do that for you. But the world will definitely do it to you if it has to. And if you can learn to do that on your own, you might not have to have so many of those wonderful learning opportunities. But if not, it's okay. Again. And I think that's the grace part, right? It's not right or wrong. It's okay if you want to do it that way you can, and I'll still be over here and we can still talk about it. I'm not going to be here to be like I told you so. Right. I'll just be here to be like, okay, well how'd that work? Yeah, let's pick up some pieces and keep going. Right? So yeah, that's probably what I would say.

Kevin (00:51:20):

I think you nailed it right there, Dawn, with I don't think I would've listened to myself. And I was like, gosh, I was 18. I knew everything and I was like
Speaker 3 (00:51:32):
It all.
Kevin (00:51:33):
What happened?
Speaker 4 (00:51:36):
I know even less now, but
Dawn (00:51:37):
I know even less now, but, now we are quite confident that we do not know.

Speaker 4 (00:51:40):
Quite competent,

Dawn (00:51:41):
Very comfortable with that.

Kevin (00:51:43):
But it's one of those like, yep. But you also, the other part that you nailed the rest of that going through the valley, once you get out of that valley of darkness of death, that's where coaching comes in. As leaders, as individuals, as companies, whatever. It's our job to go back and grab that person going, come on man, let's get you through it. And then now your testimony, your story is now what helps this next person come through. I really feel like that's your duty. If you were blessed with a hardship that you survived and you're now not a victim, but a hero. I don't even like people use the word survivor. I'm still kind of iffy if I like that word. But you got to be the hero of your own story. If you came through that, now it's your responsibility to bring other people through.

Dawn (00:52:31):
Right.
Kevin (00:52:32):
Don't be too proud of sharing your down days. That's what you need to share.
Dawn (00:52:37):
That's right.
Kevin (00:52:38):
Look at me now. Great, whatever, but let's go.
Dawn (00:52:41):
That's why people can hear you. That's why they can relate to you.

Kevin (00:52:45):

People know the real people that have seen things and done things, and you're totally one of those people. I look at all the people you're shaping now, and it's like, dang,

Dawn (00:52:54):

It is a blessing. I feel blessed every day, every time somebody says that they want to trust me with letting me step into their world with them and walk through that with them. It is a gift and I'm grateful for it, and I hope I never lose sight of that. It's really awesome. I love being able to celebrate their wins because that's exactly what's happening. Tell me what you want and we will do that together and that we'll celebrate you all the way along the way in spite of whatever happens.

Kevin (00:53:17):

I love watching successful people like Dave Ove, like, well, I got to get this done, otherwise, Dawn's not going to. I love it when you're that powerful in people's lives. It's awesome. It's fantastic. Thanks. Alright, so I'd like to end with Dawn, What is a quote for you? A bible passage, a poem? What is some words of knowledge that when you're going through the storm, when you're going through the valley that you hold onto, that you say in your head, Hey, blah, blah, blah, blah. What are some of these little things that you self-talk might tell yourself?

Dawn (00:53:56):

Yeah, so a couple things. One is, and I'm never really great at addresses in scripture, so you'll have to forgive that part, but I  love the do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs. And it's a really good reminder for me because I can come up with words quickly and I have a lot of active thoughts and I have learned over the years to just really quiet those and quiet my mouth and allow just time to settle sometimes. And I think it's just a really good reminder for me not to be too quick to speak, but also to make sure that what I'm communicating is going to build others up according to their needs. And those needs are going to be different. And I might not be aware of all of 'em, but that's something that I challenge myself with and that is something that's very present and around me, and that's from scripture.

Dawn (00:54:48):

And somebody far more amazing than me will know that reference. We will look it up and update people. Yeah, exactly. I should know it's on notes everywhere. So I would say that's one thing, something else, it's just a big deal. I love it. But it is, it's something that Brian McRae said, and it's when what becomes clear, the who and the how will appear. And I think all too often in business and in life, we get so consumed with how are we going to do that and who's going to help me and what's it going to look like? And all these things that we failed to stop and go, what do you want? What would it look like if you could have it?

Dawn (00:55:32):

You have to tell me what you want before I can tell you who and how to do it. I can give you all kinds of who and how all day long, but if we don't know what we're building for, it won't matter. And we'll have some really incredible who's and hows running around doing things that isn't meaningful. And I think as just individuals, as people, we do that in a lot of areas of our life. So it's just something else that I spend a lot of time reminding people, do you know what you want? Anything? What would it be? Right? And I think it's a question we miss, and so that's something else that I really lean on.

Kevin (00:56:02):

I love it. I like Steven Covey is who I referenced. Begin with the end of mind. And that's what do you want your life to look like? You don't know. Well, it's hard to make it.

Dawn (00:56:12):

That's right. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. I love it.

Kevin (00:56:18):

Kind of like how do you want the house finishes?

Dawn (00:56:24):

Right. Right. Exactly. Exactly. And that is one of the biggest barriers for people I think. And I don't know if it's because we've believed the lie that we don't get to make that decision, or maybe it's not a lie. Maybe it's something that has just been put on us over the years. We've just found that we arrive in environments and we're like, well, this is what's happening, but why? What if it didn't have to be right? And I love being able to help people get past that. I think even when people say, I am trying to find this job and I need this job and I don't like my job. Okay, well, if you could have the perfect job, what would you do all day? Right? Your own job description. I mean, I've given people that assignment that never came back because they got the David O speech.

Dawn (00:57:06):

Go and do that and call me when you're done. Right? It's an analogy. I play with people all the time. I will say, I will play ball with you, but I like to play ball with people that actually play ball. Right. I'm going to hit you the ball if you don't hit the ball back to me. I don't have any balls. I don't know what to play with. I cannot get you a ball back if you don't give it back to me. So I'm going to hit you a ball and then you're going to do that, and then you're going to hit it back to me and then I'm going to give you another ball. But I don't want to have one of those ball machines that throws a whole bunch of balls at you. Now what are you supposed to do? Right? You're overwhelmed. And so it's just a game of ping pong or maybe pickleball.

Kevin (00:57:42):

Dawn, you truly are a blessing. You are a blessing in my life and obviously the people around me, but you really are an amazing person. I loved you since I met you. It was really easy to know that you were earmarked for greatness, and I truly feel like now your wings are up and you're flying and you're helping so many people. I saw it as you said it on your profile, on your title, servant leader. I get it. I love it. It's actually written on my board right here

Kevin (00:58:13):

It's one of those, you're not doing it to serve yourself. You're doing it to serve others. And the more you serve, the higher you're promoted in a sense, which means your obligation now is to help more people. It's a cycle, but it's truly a blessing to do this and to find people that are also doing it and walking the walk, their words have so much more power because they're living an authentic life. Doesn't mean it's perfect.

Dawn (00:58:43):

Correct.

Kevin (00:58:43):

But it's real. And that's what I think people need to know. There's highs, there's lows, but when you're low, what do you do to get out of it? You use your faith, you use your family, you have friends that you could reach out to and just kind of stay in friendship and growth and yourself. I love it. I love everything you're doing. I agree. I would like to be around you more without using my token, but just in relationship. It's really serious now. Yes, Dawn. I love it. And thank you so much for jumping on and having a conversation with me.

Dawn (00:59:18):

Thank you, Kevin. This has been wonderful. I really appreciate you and I love, love that we've been able to watch each other both grow into this most amazing version that we both stepped into now. And I really love the number of lives that get to be impacted because of what each of us are getting to do and what God chooses to do through us. So thank you.

Kevin (00:59:35):

And it's because we step out and it's awkward and it's hard, it's scary, but we do it anyway and then people are like, oh, they could do it. It's like, yes,

Dawn (00:59:45):

That's right. That's true.

Kevin (00:59:51):

Dawn, thank you so much.

Dawn (00:59:53):

Thanks Kevin.

Kevin (00:59:54):

And we'll talk soon. What an inspiration Dawn is. We ended up talking even longer after we got done with the recording there, but she is just a wonderful soul, right? She's just a good person. I love how she also blends in faith with business, personal and professional. I mean, we talked about there's so many parallels in our lives, how things happen, and it's one of those you don't pray for those bad days to happen. You don't want all that just frustration and pain, but it's also those forging moments that help you step up. And the faster that you could ask for help and kind of go through these different things, really the faster you could level up and do those things. One of the key things I want to bring up, gosh, her forging moment with her daughter really coming in and taking ownership of being the mom and caregiver and stuff like that.

Kevin (01:00:53):

I think that's great, but I love it when she came in and started doing the work on herself, she constantly reads. She doesn't read fiction. And then I love her wording. I've released 90 pounds. Most of us say, oh, I lost some weight. I did this. I lost 90 pounds. I've released it. She is not bringing it back in. Words matter. And that's just how she comes about it. She is fit, she's looking good and is doing so many wonderful things for so many people. I truly, truly love and respect what Dawn has done and what she is doing. And in fact, afterwards she started coaching me and it's holding me accountable for writing a book about some of the stuff that we've done in these episodes. So love it. I love it, I love it. So thank you, Dawn.